IT'S OVER! It's difficult to be excited about the end of chemotherapy right now when I am sleeping more than sixteen hours a day, but I know when my body toughens up I will be beyond ecstatic never to have to go through this again. I wish I could just bounce back immediately after chemotherapy and be "normal" Jen, instead I just shift from my couch to my bed shaking and panting in pure exhaustion. Just lifting myself in and out of my bathtub takes every ounce of strength in my shaky muscles. It's not a pretty site and typically I cry in frustration, but I continue to remind myself that this too shall pass. My oncologist warned me that by the time I got to round six of treatment I would feel as though I had been run over by a truck. He was certainly right.
My final chemotherapy treatment consisted of family and friends surrounding me, a beautiful Coach handbag, gorgeous flowers, balloons, Panera breakfast pastries, a beach bag full of goodies, a thoughtful cake that my shaky hands could not hold on to and landed upside down on the floor, text messages and e-mails, hugs and kisses, and yes, even laughs.
We have made it through the first phase of this journey together … eighteen weeks of chemotherapy. I cannot begin to express my love and gratitude for your endless prayers, warm thoughts and support. There is no way I could have done this without you. Now I must gather all of my strength and positive thoughts in order to readjust my focus. My main objective now is to get my body healthy and strong for surgery scheduled on July 1. Surgery will be tough, with three to four weeks of recovery, and I know I will need to summon all of my mental, physical and emotional strength to get through it.
Here is my schedule for the month of June:
June 16: PETScan and Pre-Op with my plastic surgeon (Dr. Wendy Gottlieb)
June 18: Pre-Op with my surgeon (Dr. Kenneth Mason)
June 19: Review PETScan with oncologist (Dr. David Heyer)
June 20: Herceptin Treatment (Every three weeks)
June 26-29: Weekend at the Beach
July 1: Mastectomy and Reconstruction at Virginia Hospital Center
It is time to head back to bed. I will try to write again later this week when I am, hopefully, feeling significantly better.
Showing posts with label herceptin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label herceptin. Show all posts
Monday, June 2, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
5/18/2008: Doctors Orders
"You're my hero," said one of my friends last night. "You've made this situation into an amazing opportunity to better yourself and inspire others," said my other friend. Last night was exactly what I needed. One of my best friend's, Marisa, celebrated her birthday and I felt well enough, despite the week I had, to make it out to her party. I am so happy I did, because being surrounded by my friends really helped give me the strength to shake this horrible sickness and continue fighting.
Friday I was even sicker than Thursday and missed another day of work. I headed back to the hospital to meet with Dr. Heyer (my oncologist) in the morning. He examined me and said one of three things is wrong: I either have a nasty stomach virus (which is most likely), my body is now saying "enough" with chemotherapy and is reacting back, or I have developed CDF from my treatment. He said he wanted to start me on antibiotics for CDF in case it is that, but they won't know for certain until my stool sample comes back Monday or Tuesday. (Yes, I had the luxury of pooping in a cup. Oh joy!)
I asked Dr. Heyer to review with me my midway MRI and heart scan. The MRI showed that the lymph nodes, diseased tissue and even the 3cm hematoma (blood clot and fluid pouch) from surgery had ALL shrunk. He told me that the MRI showed an area of increased brightness (Does that mean the hot spot got hotter!?) and he said that too will not be fully understood until they can dissect the tissue after surgery. My heart scan came back excellent, which pleased my doctor greatly. He said my heart was previously pumping at 62% and now it is at 64%, so there has been very little damage or change.
Dr. Heyer did an exam of the lump under my arm and told me that he is 99% positive that is the hematoma from surgery, but that they won't know 100% what is going on in my body until they do surgery since MRIs and PETscans are too sensitive on breast tissue. That was frustrating for me to hear, but I understand the limitations of imaging. I concluded my appointment with Dr. Heyer by asking permission to go on a weekend get away with my friends at the end of June, prior to surgery. He told me he understood my need to "escape" and supported it 100%. Now I have something to plan and look forward to! YAY … sun and surf here I come!
After my appointment with Dr. Heyer I was put in the treatment room for my weekly Herceptin treatment and a bag of fluid due to my dehydration. My godfather, Bill showed up to surprise me. It was such a wonderful visit and gave me a second wind of energy. I am so very blessed to have such amazing people in my life. I feel incredibly loved and supported. It is a wonderful feeling. Please know how much I appreciate all of you.
I woke up Saturday morning feeling significantly better. I am not sure if it is the antibiotic that is working on my body, or that the virus I have is leaving my body. Either way, I am just SO happy to be feeling more like myself and able to attend some of my friends events. My friend Jessie hosted a Pampered Chef party on Saturday in my honor. A portion of the sales went to benefit the Avon Foundation. The event was so much fun and I am so happy I could attend. And last night I concluded the day celebrating Marisa's birthday. It appears that being surrounding by loved ones is just what the doctor ordered.
Friday I was even sicker than Thursday and missed another day of work. I headed back to the hospital to meet with Dr. Heyer (my oncologist) in the morning. He examined me and said one of three things is wrong: I either have a nasty stomach virus (which is most likely), my body is now saying "enough" with chemotherapy and is reacting back, or I have developed CDF from my treatment. He said he wanted to start me on antibiotics for CDF in case it is that, but they won't know for certain until my stool sample comes back Monday or Tuesday. (Yes, I had the luxury of pooping in a cup. Oh joy!)
I asked Dr. Heyer to review with me my midway MRI and heart scan. The MRI showed that the lymph nodes, diseased tissue and even the 3cm hematoma (blood clot and fluid pouch) from surgery had ALL shrunk. He told me that the MRI showed an area of increased brightness (Does that mean the hot spot got hotter!?) and he said that too will not be fully understood until they can dissect the tissue after surgery. My heart scan came back excellent, which pleased my doctor greatly. He said my heart was previously pumping at 62% and now it is at 64%, so there has been very little damage or change.
Dr. Heyer did an exam of the lump under my arm and told me that he is 99% positive that is the hematoma from surgery, but that they won't know 100% what is going on in my body until they do surgery since MRIs and PETscans are too sensitive on breast tissue. That was frustrating for me to hear, but I understand the limitations of imaging. I concluded my appointment with Dr. Heyer by asking permission to go on a weekend get away with my friends at the end of June, prior to surgery. He told me he understood my need to "escape" and supported it 100%. Now I have something to plan and look forward to! YAY … sun and surf here I come!
After my appointment with Dr. Heyer I was put in the treatment room for my weekly Herceptin treatment and a bag of fluid due to my dehydration. My godfather, Bill showed up to surprise me. It was such a wonderful visit and gave me a second wind of energy. I am so very blessed to have such amazing people in my life. I feel incredibly loved and supported. It is a wonderful feeling. Please know how much I appreciate all of you.
I woke up Saturday morning feeling significantly better. I am not sure if it is the antibiotic that is working on my body, or that the virus I have is leaving my body. Either way, I am just SO happy to be feeling more like myself and able to attend some of my friends events. My friend Jessie hosted a Pampered Chef party on Saturday in my honor. A portion of the sales went to benefit the Avon Foundation. The event was so much fun and I am so happy I could attend. And last night I concluded the day celebrating Marisa's birthday. It appears that being surrounding by loved ones is just what the doctor ordered.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
3/15/2008: Challenging Week
This past week was pretty challenging … day 3 and day 7 after chemotherapy are crash days for me. It has taken me a lot longer to bounce back from the fatigue. I was just so much more tired this time around. My sensitivity to light, noises and smells was much more magnified, too. I am doing fine, just really wiped out, so I have been taking extra good care of myself with plenty of naps. My nurse Melanie assured me that my treatments won’t get progressively worse. For some strange reason, some are bad and others are a little more manageable. It is different every time.
Unfortunately, my tummy has been a disaster. I am not sure if this is due to chemotherapy or the antibiotic I was on for my UTI, but the tummy issues have added to the fatigue and serious dehydration. I am doing my best to slow down and really take care of myself. I promise, I am. Ask my friends … I haven’t gone out half as much as I did last time.
I had Herceptin this past Friday and it made me pretty sick (headache, nausea, fatigue). My blood work came back very good though, but I am still anemic. My nurse, Melanie said that when I walked in to the office they thought I was their pharmaceutical representative. The nurses are just shocked at how well I am doing with chemotherapy and how, once again, I don’t “look like I have cancer.” The nurses always greet me with huge smiles and lots of hugs. I just think the world of my oncologist’s practice. They could sense my frustration with just tiring of coming to the office every Friday. They told me to think of my new, fabulous boobs and to start planning an AMAZING vacation. They said not a normal vacation, but an incredible one, like 2 weeks in Tahiti. They said it is important to have something to look forward to. I think this is a GREAT idea! Who’s in?
This week was a little tough on my heart, too. My puppy, Carly Anne, was incredibly sick. She could not walk or lift her head and she refused to eat or drink. We really thought we were going to lose her. She is diabetic and crashed. My parents continue to take her to the doctors each day so that they can try and regulate her sugars. Poor baby. They had to keep her IV in so she had on a pink cast to support her Mom. She is still fighting hard and worrying us to no end. I don’t think I could handle losing her … not at this time in my life. I cannot deal with more bad news.
Other than that, I have been busy chipping in to plan my fundraiser Pink Martini Night on Friday, May 2 from 8-11pm at Eighteenth and RED. I am SO excited! It is going to be tons of fun. Also, I am playing catch up with my thesis. I finally got my topic approved this past week. I am actively seeking my chair and once that is finalized I am hoping I can start completing the meat and potatoes of my document. The next hurdle will be getting my research method approved by the board. Eeek!
My Mom has surgery Monday to remove a tumor in her breast. Please, please, please keep her and our family in your thoughts and prayers. We need to keep my family healthy! Sheesh.
I hope you all have a wonderful week. I am so happy that it is getting warmer.
Unfortunately, my tummy has been a disaster. I am not sure if this is due to chemotherapy or the antibiotic I was on for my UTI, but the tummy issues have added to the fatigue and serious dehydration. I am doing my best to slow down and really take care of myself. I promise, I am. Ask my friends … I haven’t gone out half as much as I did last time.
I had Herceptin this past Friday and it made me pretty sick (headache, nausea, fatigue). My blood work came back very good though, but I am still anemic. My nurse, Melanie said that when I walked in to the office they thought I was their pharmaceutical representative. The nurses are just shocked at how well I am doing with chemotherapy and how, once again, I don’t “look like I have cancer.” The nurses always greet me with huge smiles and lots of hugs. I just think the world of my oncologist’s practice. They could sense my frustration with just tiring of coming to the office every Friday. They told me to think of my new, fabulous boobs and to start planning an AMAZING vacation. They said not a normal vacation, but an incredible one, like 2 weeks in Tahiti. They said it is important to have something to look forward to. I think this is a GREAT idea! Who’s in?
This week was a little tough on my heart, too. My puppy, Carly Anne, was incredibly sick. She could not walk or lift her head and she refused to eat or drink. We really thought we were going to lose her. She is diabetic and crashed. My parents continue to take her to the doctors each day so that they can try and regulate her sugars. Poor baby. They had to keep her IV in so she had on a pink cast to support her Mom. She is still fighting hard and worrying us to no end. I don’t think I could handle losing her … not at this time in my life. I cannot deal with more bad news.
Other than that, I have been busy chipping in to plan my fundraiser Pink Martini Night on Friday, May 2 from 8-11pm at Eighteenth and RED. I am SO excited! It is going to be tons of fun. Also, I am playing catch up with my thesis. I finally got my topic approved this past week. I am actively seeking my chair and once that is finalized I am hoping I can start completing the meat and potatoes of my document. The next hurdle will be getting my research method approved by the board. Eeek!
My Mom has surgery Monday to remove a tumor in her breast. Please, please, please keep her and our family in your thoughts and prayers. We need to keep my family healthy! Sheesh.
I hope you all have a wonderful week. I am so happy that it is getting warmer.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
3/2/2008: Sleepless Nights
Today is NOT a good day. I slept maybe a total of two hours last night. I had three panic attacks in my sleep and am completely exhausted. I woke up several times in the middle of the night with tears rolling down my face and dripping with sweat. I am scared to fall back asleep. Plus I am finding it hard to regulate my body temperature now that I am balding. I could really use some night caps that I can sleep in. I spent the night with my covers over my head like a little nun. Probably cute/funny, but not so comfortable.
My sisters (in cancer) have told me that they also have anxiety the week prior to their chemotherapy treatments. It's good to know that I am reacting in a "normal" way. I just know how bad the last one was and am petrified to do it again ... not that I have a choice. Oh God, I pray this one is better than the last. I don't know how much more I can take. I am trying so hard to stay positive and make the best of this situation, but it's days like this that make it hard. I could use a vacation right about now.
My beautiful buzz cut (thanks to Kere) is now a polka dotted mess. I am balding ... and it's happening quicker than I had originally anticipated. My brother and I hung out last night and he touched my head and it sprinkled down my shoulder like a fragile dandelion. I could see in his face that he felt horrible, but what can you do? You can't baby it ... it's inevitable. I then put my head over the sink and ran my fingers over my scalp to show him how bad it was. I think I made a few jokes about it (making him feel better about my molting), threw on my wig and we headed out for the night. By tomorrow (Monday) I believe it will all be gone. My scalp aches and is not happy with what is happening. (Join the club! Haha.) Every time I touch my head it hurts. Like it's not bad enough that I am losing my hair, but it has to hurt too!? Give me a break, please! I am also tiring of vacuuming my condo. I like things clean and organized and you can't do that when you're molting! LOL. Can you tell I am cranky today?
Sorry this is not a happier blog entry, but it's the reality of the situation. It sucks royally and I am not happy at all. The good news is that I have spent more time enjoying life this past month then I have in a long time. Just this week I saw Michael, Mark, Alicia, Kori, Marisa, Andrew, Kere and others. Having my friends and family surrounding me is the only thing I need to get through this. I love you all so much. Thank you for just being you and loving me unconditionally. It truly means everything to me. My positivity (not evident in this blog entry) comes from your love, prayers and support. Thank you!
On a happier note, I saw one of my friends this weekend who had a lot of information that I would love to share with you. (I hope I don't get in trouble with my friend for sharing! I can try and use the cancer card in the event of that happening! It works about 90% of the time. Haha.) My friend works for the National Cancer Institute and is probably the most intelligent person I have ever met in my entire life. Knowing my situation, my friend believes that I am Stage 2A. Knowing this, I have probably had cancer for 2 to 5 years in my body.
Crazy to think about! My friend also told me how lucky I am to be HER-2 proteinpositive.Herceptin (the antibody for the HER2-protein) is the only targeted treatment they have right now for cancer patients, that has been approved for use, that is perfectly matched to eradicate the specific protein in the body, unlike chemotherapy that is a one size fits all solution targeting all cells that rapidly divide and reproduce. Stupid cancer. Stupid cells. We spoke for awhile and I realize how truly blessed I am that my cancer was found when it was and has not spread. All of the things that my oncologist and surgeon have suggested, I shared with my friend and it was agreed that I am getting amazing care with the best options for my body. The reassurance feels good.
I hope you all are having a better weekend than I am. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I embark on round two of chemo this week. *Sigh*
My sisters (in cancer) have told me that they also have anxiety the week prior to their chemotherapy treatments. It's good to know that I am reacting in a "normal" way. I just know how bad the last one was and am petrified to do it again ... not that I have a choice. Oh God, I pray this one is better than the last. I don't know how much more I can take. I am trying so hard to stay positive and make the best of this situation, but it's days like this that make it hard. I could use a vacation right about now.
My beautiful buzz cut (thanks to Kere) is now a polka dotted mess. I am balding ... and it's happening quicker than I had originally anticipated. My brother and I hung out last night and he touched my head and it sprinkled down my shoulder like a fragile dandelion. I could see in his face that he felt horrible, but what can you do? You can't baby it ... it's inevitable. I then put my head over the sink and ran my fingers over my scalp to show him how bad it was. I think I made a few jokes about it (making him feel better about my molting), threw on my wig and we headed out for the night. By tomorrow (Monday) I believe it will all be gone. My scalp aches and is not happy with what is happening. (Join the club! Haha.) Every time I touch my head it hurts. Like it's not bad enough that I am losing my hair, but it has to hurt too!? Give me a break, please! I am also tiring of vacuuming my condo. I like things clean and organized and you can't do that when you're molting! LOL. Can you tell I am cranky today?
Sorry this is not a happier blog entry, but it's the reality of the situation. It sucks royally and I am not happy at all. The good news is that I have spent more time enjoying life this past month then I have in a long time. Just this week I saw Michael, Mark, Alicia, Kori, Marisa, Andrew, Kere and others. Having my friends and family surrounding me is the only thing I need to get through this. I love you all so much. Thank you for just being you and loving me unconditionally. It truly means everything to me. My positivity (not evident in this blog entry) comes from your love, prayers and support. Thank you!
On a happier note, I saw one of my friends this weekend who had a lot of information that I would love to share with you. (I hope I don't get in trouble with my friend for sharing! I can try and use the cancer card in the event of that happening! It works about 90% of the time. Haha.) My friend works for the National Cancer Institute and is probably the most intelligent person I have ever met in my entire life. Knowing my situation, my friend believes that I am Stage 2A. Knowing this, I have probably had cancer for 2 to 5 years in my body.
Crazy to think about! My friend also told me how lucky I am to be HER-2 proteinpositive.Herceptin (the antibody for the HER2-protein) is the only targeted treatment they have right now for cancer patients, that has been approved for use, that is perfectly matched to eradicate the specific protein in the body, unlike chemotherapy that is a one size fits all solution targeting all cells that rapidly divide and reproduce. Stupid cancer. Stupid cells. We spoke for awhile and I realize how truly blessed I am that my cancer was found when it was and has not spread. All of the things that my oncologist and surgeon have suggested, I shared with my friend and it was agreed that I am getting amazing care with the best options for my body. The reassurance feels good.
I hope you all are having a better weekend than I am. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I embark on round two of chemo this week. *Sigh*
Friday, February 29, 2008
2/29/2008: Vacuuming My Pillowcase
Today has been quite a day to say the least. I awoke to a DISASTER. I lost so much hair during the night that I could have vacuumed my pillow case and made an army of Barbie dolls. Kere came over first thing this morning and we had a buzz party! Of course, I did the first cut, then after that I handed the scissors over to Kere. I now have a half-inch of hair on my head and it's SO chilly outside. Eeek! Some people might find it strange that I decided to buzz my head as opposed to just letting it fall out naturally, but honestly, for me, it is about control. Cutting my hair off (or allowing Kere to) liberated me and made me feel as though I had a say in the situation. Strangely enough, I actually think it looks adorable!I had my third round of Herceptin this morning, which didn't go too well. The medication gives me a horrible headache and makes me quite nauseous and sleepy. They were able to give me medication through the IV/port to help easy the side effects, though.
They checked my blood count prior to administering the medication and I was disappointed that it came back bad. My white blood count has dropped, but is basically back to where it was prior to chemotherapy, so it is considered average. The shot in my stomach had simply elevated my levels to keep them from dipping too low, but now they are back to normal. On the other hand, my red blood count is very low, meaning that I am now anemic. Not good! It is normal that the chemotherapy can do this, but I should try to adjust my diet some to consume more red meat and green veggies. It is a double-edged sword, however, since those things can make my IBS act up, especially the red meat. My nurse said they would watch my red blood count level and if it dips lower then I will need to administer another shot after chemotherapy for the red blood cells along with the shot for the white blood cells. Stupid cells. Stupid cancer.
This whole thing is quite a roller coaster. Just when you think things are on track you blaze into a dark tunnel and get swept into a cork screw.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
2/23/2008: Torn and Tattered
Dad, Joey and I arrived at the oncologists office Friday for my Herceptin treatment and the office was closed from the ice storm. We waiting for about an hour and no one showed up, contacted me ... nothing. Very frustrating! I am still waiting to hear what that means as far as keeping me on schedule. Hopefully I can get it Monday or just skip it, since I get Herceptin every Friday.
Well, my nurse tried to warn me not to be too surprised if day seven after chemotherapy was my hardest (since that's usually when your white blood count will drop the lowest, then start replenishing itself). I thought once I got through yesterday that I was safe ... I was mistaken when I awoke this morning to my disaster of a body.
Now, this isn't as bad as I felt earlier this week with the cold/sinus infection, but it certainly is a much weaker and tired version of me. Which frustrates me to no end. I hate being slowed down.
I have always envied Angelina Jolie's lips and dreamed of luscious plump pout, but oh my ... I don't want the pain that goes along with it, please! My lips are swollen, peeling and bright pink. If they weren't hurting and peeling, I would be ecstatic. Haha! In addition, if I open my mouth wide it cracks and bleeds. So just trying to eat has become extremely painful. The inside of my mouth, gums and skin, are swollen and raw. Ugh. Have no fear though, I am still eating like a crazy woman. Stupid steroids!
My nails started streaking brown and breaking terribly, so I went to get them done today so that they don't look so horrible. Some patients actually lose their nails completely from the Taxotere medication. Mine are just SUPER ugly. At least they don't hurt. I can deal with it just being a vanity issue.
My body is absolutely exhausted and my mouth is angry. I hope that this is the worst of it and that my body will start putting itself back together. I have a feeling this will be the ugly cycle after each treatment. Lord, give me patience and strength.
Well, my nurse tried to warn me not to be too surprised if day seven after chemotherapy was my hardest (since that's usually when your white blood count will drop the lowest, then start replenishing itself). I thought once I got through yesterday that I was safe ... I was mistaken when I awoke this morning to my disaster of a body.
Now, this isn't as bad as I felt earlier this week with the cold/sinus infection, but it certainly is a much weaker and tired version of me. Which frustrates me to no end. I hate being slowed down.
I have always envied Angelina Jolie's lips and dreamed of luscious plump pout, but oh my ... I don't want the pain that goes along with it, please! My lips are swollen, peeling and bright pink. If they weren't hurting and peeling, I would be ecstatic. Haha! In addition, if I open my mouth wide it cracks and bleeds. So just trying to eat has become extremely painful. The inside of my mouth, gums and skin, are swollen and raw. Ugh. Have no fear though, I am still eating like a crazy woman. Stupid steroids!
My nails started streaking brown and breaking terribly, so I went to get them done today so that they don't look so horrible. Some patients actually lose their nails completely from the Taxotere medication. Mine are just SUPER ugly. At least they don't hurt. I can deal with it just being a vanity issue.
My body is absolutely exhausted and my mouth is angry. I hope that this is the worst of it and that my body will start putting itself back together. I have a feeling this will be the ugly cycle after each treatment. Lord, give me patience and strength.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
2/21/2008: Follow-Up
I honestly could not be happier today! Dad and I just came from my follow-up meeting with my oncologist, Dr. David Heyer. He is incredible and has worked with my surgeon, Dr. Kenneth Mason for many many years. I have such a great team of doctors at Reston Hospital really working in my best interest. They love me as though I am their daughter ... I can tell.Dr. Heyer is so pleased at how well I am doing with my first chemotherapy treatment. My cold/sinus infection is clearing up and my strength is returning. My nurse Melanie ran up and hugged me when I walked in the door. Dr. Heyer shared with me some very exciting news!!! Apparently, last week there was a cancer convention where radiologists, surgeons and oncologists from all over the country gathered to discuss treatments, case studies and new techniques. They used ME as their case study. They basically pulled all my test results, images, etc. and work-shopped what to do with me. How cool is that!? They debated whether to do more biopsies, whether the mastectomy was necessary and even if I should be on the 5-year hormone treatment (which I could possibly not need once chemotherapy is done and they redo my tests). YAY!
Dr. Heyer expressed that he wants to fight one battle at a time because my course may change depending on how I respond to treatment. I was bombarding him with questions, obviously! So, for now we continue on the chemotherapy treatments every 3 weeks (ending May 30) with herceptin each week for a year. He said that the herceptin regimen may change, too. It could be anywhere from nine months to two years. Test results will give them more information to gage their treatment.
Once chemotherapy is done (May 30 ... can you tell that's my benchmark?), I redo my MRI and PETscan. That will determine if the treatment worked and killed the stupid cancer. Both Dr. Heyer and Dr. Mason are in agreement that I should still have the mastectomy. Within 3 to 4 weeks (no later) after my last treatment I will have a mastectomy with reconstruction at the same time. (I go to sleep with boobs and wake up with even better ones!) They don't want to wait too long for surgery because any microscopic cancer cells not killed through chemo may start growing again. Little bastards! The tissue and lymph nodes removed through the mastectomy will be dissected to determine whether there are any residual cells. Hopefully it will all be dead and gone!!! Within those 3 to 4 weeks after chemotherapy, I have to have my tests redone, meet with the surgeon and plastic surgeon, meet with a genetics specialist and start seeing the radiologist to set a radiation schedule. Whew ... lot's to do, but very exciting benchmarks, indeed. I need those goals in order to keep my sanity, or what's left of it, anyways.
Dr. Heyer said the genetics test will show if I carry the breast cancer gene. That will determine whether I am more likely to have cancer in the right breast down the road. This will answer the question, should I have a double mastectomy in June as a preventive measure or just a single? He believes it is highly unlikely that it will move to the right breast ... without the gene 1-2% chance and with the gene 10-15% chance. If I were to have breast cancer again, he feels that we would catch it soon enough (now that I will have testing every 3 months) that I could bypass chemo and just do radiation again. Obviously, we are thinking way down the road and dealing with a lot of "what ifs" ... but still VERY promising news none the less.
I really feel GREAT today and I am visualizing the medication killing my little insect-looking cancer cells (like Aunt Mary Ann told me to). My port has healed enough now that I have started working out again, which has proved to be a huge stress/anxiety reducer. The main thing to pray for now is that this regimen they have me on is doing its job and kicking this cancer's butt. Please keep the prayers coming, visualize my cancer being killed ... I still have a big fight ahead of me yet and I could use all your help.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
2/12/2008: Doom and Despair
Oh my ... Dad and I just met with the head nurse at the oncologist's office and it was all doom and despair. (Dun, Dun, Dunnnn.) Basically, she went over everything that could happen, but that wouldn't necessarily happen to me. I guess she is required to do that, but it was all a bit much for me and Dad and unfortunately when that happens I get a tad curt (to say it nicely).
I will be injected with Herceptin every week (including with my chemo treatments which are every third week). They start by giving me two hours worth of medication the first treatment, then 90 minutes the second, then 60 the third, then 30 for the remainder of a year. Herceptin effects the heart muscle in a negative way making it slow and lazy. Daunting thought, indeed! They will continue doing heart scans every three months to make sure my heart is still OK. Once the treatment is over, my heart will repair itself. Breaks my heart! (I know, a bit cheesy! OK, a lot cheesy.)
Taxotere and carboplatin are what I get every three weeks with a dose of herceptin. Taxotere is a beast! The possible side effects are horrible with this medication. This is the medication that kills the white blood cells, makes hair fall out, creates sores inside your mouth, and can even make your nails fall out. (Not that I am too concerned with vanity at this point.) It basically tracks down any cells in the body that multiply quickly (that it how it categorizes cancer). Unfortunately, that also includes the cells in your mouth, so while having treatment they are being killed and trying to repair themselves ... hence the sores in the mouth. Because this medication is so beastly, 24 hours after my treatment, I have to give myself an injection in my stomach to make my body create more white blood cells so that I can attempt to remain healthy and strong throughout this process. She suggested my arm, but when she tried to pinch some fat she realized I had none and said, "nevermind." If I ever wished to be heavier, it would be NOW. If you know me, you know how I feel about needles. Holy hell ... this is not going to be enjoyable. At this point though, I almost don't even care about being poked and prodded ... you kind of just accept it and move on after awhile. Ugh. Stupid needles. I have to just keep thinking of the cute boobs I will have when this is all over!
I have a ton of prescriptions to fill that I take the day before chemotherapy, the day of, and the day after. Most are to reduce nausea and allergic reactions. One is a low does of steroid which she said may make me gain 10-15 pounds of water weight. (Again, screw vanity at this point.) Apparently, the beastly taxotere has been known to cause some nasty allergic reactions, like fluid around the lungs and heart. UGH! My first treatment (this Friday, Feb. 15) will help them gage how I will react to the different medications. They told me to expect that my IBS would act up since my tummy is so sensitive. Awesome ... can't wait!
I know I sound extremely "Debbie Downer," but it is just my nerves. Once I survive treatment #1, I think it will put my mind at ease a bit. It's that whole notion of not knowing what to expect or how the medicine will make me feel. I am certainly ready to get started ... I am just scared. That's what it comes down to.
That's basically the latest. My hair is already falling out from stress ... I haven't even done chemotherapy yet. I am sleeping on average about four hours a night. (I have coincidentally gotten a lot of organizing and projects done around my condo though.) The port is still a pain and causing me grief. All in all ... I think I am losing it. (Just kidding!) I know I will be OK, but like I said before, it all just seems so daunting.
I will be injected with Herceptin every week (including with my chemo treatments which are every third week). They start by giving me two hours worth of medication the first treatment, then 90 minutes the second, then 60 the third, then 30 for the remainder of a year. Herceptin effects the heart muscle in a negative way making it slow and lazy. Daunting thought, indeed! They will continue doing heart scans every three months to make sure my heart is still OK. Once the treatment is over, my heart will repair itself. Breaks my heart! (I know, a bit cheesy! OK, a lot cheesy.)
Taxotere and carboplatin are what I get every three weeks with a dose of herceptin. Taxotere is a beast! The possible side effects are horrible with this medication. This is the medication that kills the white blood cells, makes hair fall out, creates sores inside your mouth, and can even make your nails fall out. (Not that I am too concerned with vanity at this point.) It basically tracks down any cells in the body that multiply quickly (that it how it categorizes cancer). Unfortunately, that also includes the cells in your mouth, so while having treatment they are being killed and trying to repair themselves ... hence the sores in the mouth. Because this medication is so beastly, 24 hours after my treatment, I have to give myself an injection in my stomach to make my body create more white blood cells so that I can attempt to remain healthy and strong throughout this process. She suggested my arm, but when she tried to pinch some fat she realized I had none and said, "nevermind." If I ever wished to be heavier, it would be NOW. If you know me, you know how I feel about needles. Holy hell ... this is not going to be enjoyable. At this point though, I almost don't even care about being poked and prodded ... you kind of just accept it and move on after awhile. Ugh. Stupid needles. I have to just keep thinking of the cute boobs I will have when this is all over!
I have a ton of prescriptions to fill that I take the day before chemotherapy, the day of, and the day after. Most are to reduce nausea and allergic reactions. One is a low does of steroid which she said may make me gain 10-15 pounds of water weight. (Again, screw vanity at this point.) Apparently, the beastly taxotere has been known to cause some nasty allergic reactions, like fluid around the lungs and heart. UGH! My first treatment (this Friday, Feb. 15) will help them gage how I will react to the different medications. They told me to expect that my IBS would act up since my tummy is so sensitive. Awesome ... can't wait!
I know I sound extremely "Debbie Downer," but it is just my nerves. Once I survive treatment #1, I think it will put my mind at ease a bit. It's that whole notion of not knowing what to expect or how the medicine will make me feel. I am certainly ready to get started ... I am just scared. That's what it comes down to.
That's basically the latest. My hair is already falling out from stress ... I haven't even done chemotherapy yet. I am sleeping on average about four hours a night. (I have coincidentally gotten a lot of organizing and projects done around my condo though.) The port is still a pain and causing me grief. All in all ... I think I am losing it. (Just kidding!) I know I will be OK, but like I said before, it all just seems so daunting.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
2/7/2008: The Whirlwind
This week has been quite a whirlwind. My heart hurts deeply.
I went into the hospital Wednesday afternoon for a simple outpatient procedure where they were going to put in the port for my treatment. The port was put in successfully. When I woke up after the procedure I could not take a deep breath. I just sobbed and screamed in pain and my surgeon sat holding my hand and wiping off my smeared mascara. It was the most unbearable thing I have ever experienced. My surgeon gave me pain medicine to knock me out. An x-ray was taken immediately because my surgeon was concerned that he had accidentally punctured my lung. My lung was fine, however upon placing the port and pulling out the catheter, blood flooded into my chest cavity. I am OK now, but was on serious pain medication until about 1 am Thursday morning. They took another x-ray in the morning and then released me. My surgeon and nurses were amazing.
I met with the oncologist this afternoon with my parents. The PET-scan showed "hot spots" (cancer) in the lymph nodes under my armpit, in the center of my chest and also slightly in my sixth rib that also lies under the infected area. The good news is that it all appears to be around the left breast and has not entered the blood stream and spread to my bone marrow or organs. Also, we were told that I am HER2-positive. This is also a good thing, because there is an antibody that they can give me that kills this aggressive protein.
My oncologist wants for me to have two more tests. I have a bone scan scheduled for Monday and a heart scan scheduled for Wednesday. I start chemotherapy on Friday, Feb 15. I will be on a regiment of three medications: taxotere, carboplatin and herceptin. I will get all three at the same time. The first two (taxotere, carboplatin) are the chemotherapy and I will get them once every 3 weeks for 18 weeks. The last medication (herceptin) is for HER2-positive protein and I will take that for an entire year. Once chemotheraphy is over (18 weeks), I will have a mastectomy and reconstruction of the left breast (I go to sleep with breasts and wake up with breasts), then continue with the herceptin and start radiation of that left breast. Once all of that is finished, I may go on a hormone regiment for five years since I was estrogen positive in order to keep the cancer cells from coming back. Is your head swirling? Mine sure is!
My spirits are low and I am exhausted from Wednesday night and the severe pain I endured. My poor parents had to experience all that and I know it broke their hearts to see me in that much pain. Please keep me and my family in your prayers. I am off to rest.
I went into the hospital Wednesday afternoon for a simple outpatient procedure where they were going to put in the port for my treatment. The port was put in successfully. When I woke up after the procedure I could not take a deep breath. I just sobbed and screamed in pain and my surgeon sat holding my hand and wiping off my smeared mascara. It was the most unbearable thing I have ever experienced. My surgeon gave me pain medicine to knock me out. An x-ray was taken immediately because my surgeon was concerned that he had accidentally punctured my lung. My lung was fine, however upon placing the port and pulling out the catheter, blood flooded into my chest cavity. I am OK now, but was on serious pain medication until about 1 am Thursday morning. They took another x-ray in the morning and then released me. My surgeon and nurses were amazing.
I met with the oncologist this afternoon with my parents. The PET-scan showed "hot spots" (cancer) in the lymph nodes under my armpit, in the center of my chest and also slightly in my sixth rib that also lies under the infected area. The good news is that it all appears to be around the left breast and has not entered the blood stream and spread to my bone marrow or organs. Also, we were told that I am HER2-positive. This is also a good thing, because there is an antibody that they can give me that kills this aggressive protein.
My oncologist wants for me to have two more tests. I have a bone scan scheduled for Monday and a heart scan scheduled for Wednesday. I start chemotherapy on Friday, Feb 15. I will be on a regiment of three medications: taxotere, carboplatin and herceptin. I will get all three at the same time. The first two (taxotere, carboplatin) are the chemotherapy and I will get them once every 3 weeks for 18 weeks. The last medication (herceptin) is for HER2-positive protein and I will take that for an entire year. Once chemotheraphy is over (18 weeks), I will have a mastectomy and reconstruction of the left breast (I go to sleep with breasts and wake up with breasts), then continue with the herceptin and start radiation of that left breast. Once all of that is finished, I may go on a hormone regiment for five years since I was estrogen positive in order to keep the cancer cells from coming back. Is your head swirling? Mine sure is!
My spirits are low and I am exhausted from Wednesday night and the severe pain I endured. My poor parents had to experience all that and I know it broke their hearts to see me in that much pain. Please keep me and my family in your prayers. I am off to rest.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)