Multi-vitamin, Aquaphor, Vicodin, L’Oreal day and night cream, vitamin C, emu oil, Ambien, Mary-Kay firming eye cream, protein powder, Aveeno body lotion, Lexapro, Aveeno skin brightening daily scrub, Visine, Pepto, Burt’s Beeswax Balm, organic aloe, Neosporin, Cortizone 10, IBS stomach powder … and occasionally Xanax with a small glass of orange juice with no pulp.
If I were to watch someone else lay out this evening routine night after night, I think I would be concerned that perhaps they are overdosing, or psycho. I suppose I wouldn’t be too far off in my judgment.
I have finished all twenty-eight radiation treatments and now suffer from severe third degree burns on my chest, breast, back and underarm. I am doing everything in my power to ensure that I am healing from the inside and outside. This is my new focus now that treatment is over. My last week of treatment was incredibly intense. I had quarter-sized blisters on top of other blisters that popped and bled. The skin under my armpit burnt and quickly dried causing it to bleed when I moved. I couldn’t eat, sleep, or function, and all the doctors could advise me to do was use my creams and take pain pills. Luckily, the pain has subsiding and my skin is improving. The doctors said it could take 4 to 6 weeks just for the redness to subside.
My plastic surgeon said due to the severity of my radiation reaction, she won’t do my next surgery (swapping the expanders for the permanent implants) until early January. At least the whirlwind slows and I am able to take a breath and enjoy the holidays. I have one more fill to get me fully expanded (scheduled for Oct. 3) and I must say … my cups runneth over. I am really pleased that I had reconstruction done immediately following surgery. I am beginning to embrace my new body and appreciate the work that my plastic surgeon has done.
I head to the Outer Banks next week and I think it will be the perfect time to start working through some of the psychological damage caused by cancer and my bilateral mastectomy. I don’t plan to have it all figured out and packaged up for storage in the life experiences section of my closet, but at least I can start the process and get myself in a better state of mind. If only packing all my medications and lotions was so easy.
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