Eat Pray Love

You’d think by now I wouldn’t get so surprised when things in my life parallel … but I am still astonished by life’s ability to make connections and my openness to seeing them.

This weekend Matt was in Pennsylvania visiting his family, so I took the opportunity to go to bed early, cuddle up with Jasper and watch a movie. When I turned on the TV it just happened to be the movie, ‘Eat Pray Love.’ A film I had missed seeing when it was in theaters. I got my box of tissues and prepped myself for a good cry. It may seem a bit weird, but I look forward to a good cry once in awhile and there are two women that make this task very easy for me, Julia Roberts and Meg Ryan. So, I knew what I was in for.

I’m sure most of you know the story, so I will not bore you with reciting the plot; instead I want to share some moments in the movie that stuck with me.

Liz Gilbert:  “In the end, I've come to believe in something I call "The Physics of the Quest." A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of Quest Physics goes something like this: If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments, and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you.”

Wow. Beautiful writing. I believe so deeply in the power of this and feel as though this is what I am currently doing in my life. I refer to it as “self work” but “The Physics of the Quest” certainly sounds more intriguing. For me, I look at the idea of ego vs. meaning … stripping away the superficial and insignificant ideologies and truly finding understanding, meaning, enlightenment and forgiveness. The concept of “a clue” is what I refer to as “connections” – being spiritually aware in order to make connections and find parallels in your life. You don’t have to fully understand the meaning of it, just that puzzle pieces are presenting themselves – the analysis may not come until later.

The way in which love is depicted through the writing in this movie is brilliant. There is one scene that captures the essence of love. Javier Bardem sobs as he says goodbye to his nineteen-year-old son who was visiting from Australia. The interaction between father and son is moving, but Julia Robert’s character takes on a different emotion witnessing this embrace. She has empathy for the first time in the movie—true, honest empathy. She actually feels something for someone else’s feelings. The writing and acting connected well and I used my tissues accordingly.

On Sunday sixteen breast cancer survivors gathered for the first Pink Sister Brunch, hopefully the first of many. We are all at different stages of life, treatment, recovery and healing. This gathering was a long time coming and for some reason it felt right to do it now. It’s hard to put into words what it felt like for me to be a part of organizing the get together. My heart was beyond fulfilled and bursting with excitement that these women were organically making connections and I left feeling inspired from the stories of hope, perseverance and support.

The concept of Ego vs. Meaning was quite evident. When you go through something traumatic in your life, like breast cancer, ego goes out the door. You gain weight on the steroids, you lose your hair, eyebrows and eyelashes, your skin grays, your nails bruise and fall off and, most likely, you lose your breasts. There is no vanity to hide behind. There is nothing gradual or kind about the process – you are stripped to the most raw, vulnerable and pure version of yourself and you grasp desperately for the meaning in it all. For some it takes a little while, but inevitably food starts to taste a lot richer, the grass and flowers smell more beautiful, you hug your friends and family a little longer – meaning surfaces when you are stripped to the most honest and, quite frankly, best version of yourself. It’s no longer about how you look in the photo, but that you were in it at all. Life changes for the caterpillar and the best version of her emerges from the cocoon. Empathy. Compassion. Resilience. Patience.

Being in a room with these sixteen women, I could honestly be the most honest version of myself. We didn’t chit chat about the weather and put fake smiles on our faces and give the most generic answer when asked, "How are you doing?" I have never experienced anything like it before. You might think from my description that it was a sad reunion, but it was as far from that as it could possibly be. We simply had honest and thoughtful conversations that involved topics of wellness, fertility, adoption, reconstruction, the Susan G. Komen controversy, nutrition, weddings, side effects, depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder, other Pink Sisters we have lost, scar tissue, fitness, our hair and so on. These were understanding conversations that lacked pity and judgment – they were pure and honest.

This group of women has been pushed into a truth-seeking quest without asking for it, yet almost every one of them will say that cancer is the best thing that’s happened to her. I’m honored to be in an elite group with these remarkable women and love them for the truest most exposed and beautiful versions of themselves that have hatched from their cocoons.