An Unexpected San Francisco Treat

San Francisco Treat

I met the most amazing man. (I know that sounds so silly.) I know why I was meant to come to this PMI Conference in San Francisco. I have confirmed that I am meant to be doing the role I am doing. Everything my Dad ever said about managing people was true. And now I want to grow and eventually get my PMP certification post-masters. In addition, I have met someone who I instantly connected with, which I never expected.

His name is Jose (pronounced Joe-say) from Montreal. He is French-Canadian. He is here with his VERY pregnant wife and their two children. He is the GM of a startup in Montreal called Haka Solutions. My first day at the conference he told me, "Jennifer, you need to learn to disconnect sometimes and relax. There wouldn't be the need for project managers if projects were perfect." Ah, I'm not alone ... I felt validated.

Today my buddy and I sat together for our new session and then walked to lunch together. I was asking about his wife and babies (since they are out and about in SF during the day while he is in class) and in return, he asked if I want children. I paused and then, after some hesitation, decided to share my cancer journey. To my surprise his reaction was a smirk and then encouragement to continue sharing. He reassurend me that he would share his story when I finished.

Unbeknownst to me, he was diagnosed with stage-3 Hodgkin's at the age of 20 and was told he would never have children. He turns 40 this year and is expecting his third child next month ... a little girl. Just when he and his wife had started to consider alternative options to have a family, she got pregnant. I cannot believe I met him at a work conference. He is a new friend that I will have for a long time to come. I think I will send him an announcement when I have my first child ...

Buh-bye Dark Cloud

Annual doctor’s appointment & blood work: Normal
Annual eye exam: Normal and now eligible for LASIK
Annual retinal scan: Normal—no signs of side effects from the Tamoxifen
6-month oncology check-up: Normal
6-month dentist appointment: Normal
3-month Pap: Normal

It’s been a LONG time since I have had normal test results. I don’t know what to do with myself. I guess I’ll finish my Masters, focus on getting stronger and healthier and plan my wedding.

It is nice not having a dark cloud following me around anymore.

This time, when I went to visit my oncologist, Dr. David Heyer, I took Matt with me. It was important to me that he meets Dr. Heyer; after all he is the man who saved my life. If Matt is going to marry me, I want him to understand that this will always be my reality. We can’t ignore it, or hide from it … we need to face it head on … together.

Dr. Heyer: “If this is completely out of line, please tell me.”
me: I smiled knowing exactly where Dr. Heyer was headed.
Dr. Heyer: “Do you two intend to have children?”
me: Without hesitation I replied, “Yes.”
Dr. Heyer: “Four years ago when all of this began I never thought it would be a possibility for you to get pregnant. I was certain that with the amount of chemo we were giving you that I would push you into menopause permanently.”
me: I interrupted, “Right, but I only missed three months and started right back again consistently every 28 days.”
Dr. Heyer: “I know, and it’s pretty remarkable, even unheard of. Now, in the past people worried that when a woman got pregnant that change in hormones could cause cancer to return. I am telling you that this assumption is NOT true. Getting pregnant will not give you cancer.”
me: “OK.”
Dr. Heyer: “Also, a woman with breast cancer WITHOUT lymph node involvement runs a risk of getting cancer later in life, so there would be a long gap between the first and second diagnosis. However, a woman with breast cancer WITH lymph node involvement, like yours, runs a risk of getting cancer within the first couple of years of remission. So, once we get you past a certain point, we shouldn’t need to worry as much. But you and I have decided it’s never coming back, right? We’re done with this.”
me: “Right.”
Dr. Heyer: “Jennifer, I see absolutely no reason why you can’t get pregnant. You have surprised me and beaten the odds on everything else. However, I want you to finish the Tamoxifen … it’s essential that you have a full 5 years.”
me: “I understand. So, how soon after I’m off the Tamoxifen can I start trying?”
Dr. Heyer: “That’s not really my area of expertise, so I’d defer to your Women’s Physician, but I’d say 3 months.”