Well, five down and one to go. YAY! Can you believe it!? I can hardly believe that in three weeks I will be finished with this horrible chemotherapy. That thought alone gives me strength and hope. I stopped by my pharmacy to pick up all of my pre-chemotherapy medications and the woman behind the counter told me that I only had one more refill. I beamed telling her that I ONLY had one more treatment left. I seriously don't think she cared, but I went on and on about it as she rushed to ring me up. Leave it to me to talk someone's ears off that I don't even know.
Yesterday was Team Jen at its finest. Andrew, Bronwyn, Jenn, Rick and Daddy all sacrificed their Friday morning to sit with me during my treatment. Unless you have been through something like this, or a surgery of some kind, I don't think you can truly understand how much having the support of your friends and family means. It can be embarrassing and very vulnerable to have people see you in such an awful state, but I don't think they cared in the slightest. I found a pink wig in the donation box at my oncologist's office that seemed to entertain the group. Haha! My friends were so understanding and supportive of me during my treatment, even giving me a foot rub to take my mind off of the poison being pumped into my body. It is the visits, e-mails, text messages and even the smallest gestures of support that mean so very much to me. I don't think I could ever truly express my gratitude.
I got through the pre-medications, Herceptin and Taxotere during treatment, but then started to have a reaction. I got really flush in my face and neck, started sweating and had some trouble breathing. They flushed my IV immediately with saline (which helped considerably), then prior to my last medication, Carboplatin, they put me on a saline drip for fifteen minutes to try and dilute the Taxotere that was already in my system. That is the roughest of all the medications and rarely have I been able to squeeze by without it giving me some kind of issue. Once I got to the end of my treatment I grew very tired. I slept almost all day yesterday, last night and this morning. My poor little body is just pooped. I have a feeling in the coming days my body will remain pretty run down. The nurses told me that the fatigue will build and I could become more tired this round. At this point, I don't even care because I am almost done with this nightmare and can move on with my life again … well at least to the surgery stage. I just want this cancer out of my body for good.
My blood work was wonderful, my sinus infection gone and the lump under my arm did not concern my nurse. She told me she is almost positive that now that my incision has healed I can feel the blood clot/fluid left over from my surgery more prominently. She said as it heals it will go back and forth between being hard and soft and to please quite poking at it. She said that you do not grow tumors while on chemotherapy, but if I was still emphatic about having something done about it, they could schedule an ultra sound. I told her I would wait a week and make a decision. She said my MRI was great, but that she can understand my concern and they would do whatever I want to help ease my mind. I am just so paranoid these days about my body. I just want so desperately for it to all be okay.
Please know that I am fighting hard physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually with you all surrounding me with your love, support, compassion and prayers. This is one fight I do not intend to lose. Thank you all so very much and I will keep you posted on my progress in the coming days as my body tries to repair itself.
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