6/25/2008: Ode to the Girls

"Girls," you've known for several months that we would eventually need to have this talk. You have been there for me through thick and thin (literally) and now you have made me quite ill, for which I feel extremely hurt and betrayed. We haven't always gotten along, but I have always taken good care of you and dressed you in the prettiest of garments. I even allowed you to be the star of several Halloween and late-night outfits. In the last five years or so, I really feel like our relationship has matured and that I started to accept you and embrace your small, yet adorable nature. Isn't it ironic that it's when we start getting along that you stab me in the back? (Well, technically, the stabbing happened under my left armpit.) This is why we need to end our relationship and part ways for good.

I think maybe I put too much pressure on you in the past and that's why you made me so very sick. I remember in fifth grade being so jealous of my bestfriend Mehgan's boobs that I cursed you "girls" and covered you with tissues. I wonder if Mom and Dad ever realized why we needed to buy Kleenex more often in those days. I even named you Wayne and Garth after my favorite party-time movie 'Wayne's World,' don't you remember? Can you recall the day when I ran home crying from the pool in middle school when a girl sang, "Roses are red, violets are black, your chest is as flat as my back?" What a dumb girl, violets are blue! I cursed you then too, "girls" and wished that you would grow faster. I know I was demanding, but you didn't need to be this extreme in getting back at me.

I have said many things over the past five months that were out of pure fear, frustration and exhaustion. One comment was that I would rather go through 18 more weeks of chemotherapy then lose you "girls." First of all, that is ridiculous, because chemotherapy is pure hell. Second, no offense, but you "girls" made me sick and I am actually looking forward to an "upgrade." I know we have had some special moments over the years and, yes, even some chats in the mirror over the past couple of months, but it is time to finally part ways. You have hurt me deeply and for that I cannot forgive you. I will move on with my life as a healthy and strong woman and I will find a better pair of "girls." You, however, will be tortured for making me sick by being dissected into tiny little pieces.

Goodbye "Wayne and Garth," "Barbie and Stacy," "Laverne and Shirley," "Thelma and Louise," "chi chis," "taa taas," "my girls." I'm sad things had to end this way, but I will be better off without you. I need to take care of me now and I realize that you are only holding me back from being healthy and happy.

Jennifer's "Girls"
December 19, 1981 -- July 1, 2008
Here rests my "girls"
Once perky and plump
Replaced by a health new pair
That runneth over my cup.