I woke up this morning and realized that some how, some way, I have completely changed. I don't know how it happened, but I have never felt this strong in my entire life. The anxiety of the whole situation remains, but my heart and soul feel ... almost renewed. Is that possible? Hopefully this is not just a one day thing. I found myself singing in the car at the top of my lungs and smiling randomly at the small beauties of the day. Weird how that works ... maybe I am just appreciating things more. I finally have a reason to stop and smell the roses along the way. Perhaps this is a sign that I need to slow down and be more appreciative of the little things in my life. Who knows.
I heard so many wonderful things this week. Patty's neighbor said the most incredible thing "the moment she was diagnosed, she became a survivor". My co-worker of seven years told me that I am a first class woman and that he doesn't know of anyone stronger than I am. He said life constantly will push and pull and you either crumble like a piece of coal beneath the pressure, or you come out as a beautiful diamond like I always do. Gotta love creative people and their analogies. These words, and many others have touched me deeply and I realize how grateful I am for all the amazing people in my life. I am, without a doubt, one lucky girl.
I don't know why I wrote this. I suppose it is like a journal for me. Some people wrap themselves in a cocoon when they are suffering and I know that will only make things worse in my case. I have to express my feelings and feel like I am somehow understood. Please know how thankful I am for the love and support and that I am ready for whatever life throws at me next.
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