Saturday, February 23, 2008

2/23/2008: Torn and Tattered

Dad, Joey and I arrived at the oncologists office Friday for my Herceptin treatment and the office was closed from the ice storm. We waiting for about an hour and no one showed up, contacted me ... nothing. Very frustrating! I am still waiting to hear what that means as far as keeping me on schedule. Hopefully I can get it Monday or just skip it, since I get Herceptin every Friday.

Well, my nurse tried to warn me not to be too surprised if day seven after chemotherapy was my hardest (since that's usually when your white blood count will drop the lowest, then start replenishing itself). I thought once I got through yesterday that I was safe ... I was mistaken when I awoke this morning to my disaster of a body.

Now, this isn't as bad as I felt earlier this week with the cold/sinus infection, but it certainly is a much weaker and tired version of me. Which frustrates me to no end. I hate being slowed down.

I have always envied Angelina Jolie's lips and dreamed of luscious plump pout, but oh my ... I don't want the pain that goes along with it, please! My lips are swollen, peeling and bright pink. If they weren't hurting and peeling, I would be ecstatic. Haha! In addition, if I open my mouth wide it cracks and bleeds. So just trying to eat has become extremely painful. The inside of my mouth, gums and skin, are swollen and raw. Ugh. Have no fear though, I am still eating like a crazy woman. Stupid steroids!

My nails started streaking brown and breaking terribly, so I went to get them done today so that they don't look so horrible. Some patients actually lose their nails completely from the Taxotere medication. Mine are just SUPER ugly. At least they don't hurt. I can deal with it just being a vanity issue.

My body is absolutely exhausted and my mouth is angry. I hope that this is the worst of it and that my body will start putting itself back together. I have a feeling this will be the ugly cycle after each treatment. Lord, give me patience and strength.

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