My hair is falling out ... what a surreal feeling! The only way I can explain it is that my head is itchy and tingly. My scalp feels numb, almost as though my hair is floating on my head. Yesterday afternoon it started coming out in big chunks. I talked to some of my girlfriends about it and they were all so upset ... worried about how I was doing with it. Well, all except for Kere who cannot wait to shave it off. Haha!I shampooed it last night and with every scrub, my hands were covered in hair. I blew my hair dry and my sink, floor ... everything was just covered in hair! It was too much to take. I sat on my bed, cradled my head in my hands and just breathed. Then the fear passed. I knew this was going to happen, but still, how do you prepare for it? I called my parents and they seemed more devastated by what was happening then I was. I guess it justifies that I have cancer and this journey I am now on. For the past few weeks I kept hearing, "Well, you don't look like you have cancer" ... now I guess I will. At this rate, I will be bald by the weekend. Thank goodness I love my wigs!
Yesterday my Dad and I met with the genetics specialist. She bombarded us with tons of information about the two genes that can mutate causing breast cancer. We all have these genes in our bodies, but for some reason some people's genes mutate. I went out with my girlfriend Kori last night and told her that I guess I am an X-Men now. She thought it sucked I didn't get a super power with my mutation. I agree, because invisibility or x-ray vision would be sweet!
The genes are BRCA-1 and BRCA-2. They took a lot of blood, which I am am becoming more and more numb to at this point. The blood is sent to a DNA lab where they basically look at my strand and try to find if there is a mutation. She explained that it is like reading a thousand page book looking for one misspelling. I loved her analogy! The test alone costs over $3,000 and I am hoping my insurance pays for some of that. That's the same cost for just one of the shots I give myself in the stomach after chemotherapy to raise my blood count. Ugh ... the bills are starting to roll in.
I should find out in a couple of weeks (3 to 4, typically) if I have a mutated gene, meaning I carry the breast cancer gene. This will then tell them how likely I am to develop breast cancer again in the other breast if I choose to keep it, or another cancer, such as ovarian in the future. Ovarian is the most common second cancer of women who have breast cancer. They believe it is because of hormones in the body, specifically estrogen. The chances of me being positive for BRCA-1 or BRCA-2 with no family history of cancer and only being 26-years-old is only 7%. That's good news! If I am positive for the mutated gene, then Mom, Dad, Joey and Kimberly will all need to be tested. They will then determine whether it is Mom or Dad who passed the gene and then that side of the family can all be tested.
She also explained that if I choose to have a bilateral mastectomy, then my chances of having breast cancer again (regardless of my genes) is reduced by about 96%. The 4% is because there is no way to remove all of the breast tissue, so there is always a small risk. That just further justifies my gut instinct. They also suggest once child baring is over (between the ages of 35 to 40) to have the ovaries removed to prevent ovarian cancer by 98%. These are all things to think about in the future, obviously, but great information to have none the less.
I am taking baby steps and living on small victories right now. Let's hope the genetics test comes back clean and I am not an X-Men after all.
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